


If I Could Tell Her

by baby_broski



Category: Purple Hyacinth (Discord), Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Kywi, Lauki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby_broski/pseuds/baby_broski
Summary: Kieran was mute. He always was.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White, William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Kieran was mute. 

He always was. 

And Kieran learned to live with it. 

It was easy, really. He didn’t need to talk to the people he killed. Kieran learned sign language and usually carried a notebook to pass notes if he really needed to converse. 

But there was this woman. 

She had flaming red hair and piercing golden eyes. At first glance, they were pensive, but as he looked at them, they became bold. 

He sipped his coffee in the small cafe. She was talking to a male that looked twice her age. Kieran could tell she was uncomfortable by glancing at her. Maybe that man just didn’t understand. 

He gulped down the bitter, black coffee. It reminded himself of him. Bitter. 

Lauren. 

He caught her name. 

Kieran loved the way it sounded. If he could talk, he’d love the way it would roll off his tongue, he’d love the way he said it. 

He smiled to himself. Kieran’s clear blue eyes slid over to Lauren and the man. 

_Bam!_

Another woman with blue hair and similar golden eyes crashed into the cafe window. Her eyes were out of focus. If he didn’t know better, Kieran would assume she was blind, but it must’ve been a friend’s act when Lauren stood. 

“Oh no, that is my blind friend! I must help her!” 

Kieran snickered to himself. 

The male caught her arm. He started yelling at her, about wasting his time. 

And she made a snappy comeback. Oh, Kieran liked her already. 

\- 

It has been months since that day. 

And Kieran sat on his couch, face in his hands. 

He messed everything up. 

What was he thinking, letting someone so close to his heart like that? Kieran groaned silently. He should have never let Lauren Sinclair in. Never. 

_Monster_ , she called him. 

He was. 

Every time he looked at his hands, he could only think of one thing. _Monster._ The blood on his hands. 

Kieran could bathe all he wanted but the guilt weighed on him. _Monster._

Why did he let her in? 

Was it because… he… loved her? 

No, it couldn’t be. 

Stupid. 

He let her in. 

But what else could explain that feeling that rushed through his veins when she held him? The adrenaline, the color rushing through his cheeks? 

Kieran silently laughed. A laugh of pity for himself. 

What was he thinking? 

But guilt still hovered over his shoulders. 

He… loved her. 

But would he really tell her? 

No, he couldn’t. 

Another laugh. 

As if he could talk. As if he’d muster the courage to tell Lauren. 

_But if I could tell her..._


	2. If I Could Tell Her (ii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieran was mute. He always was.

Lauren wouldn’t be happy about this. 

But here Kieran was, in ridiculous glasses surrounded by even more ridiculous people. 

He was the archivist. 

Kieran sighed through his nose. Kym was the most talkative, Lukas was the darkest, Will was the strictest, and Lila was shy. How did Lauren manage to survive? 

Lauren. Always Lauren. Regret, guilt. 

And it was a curse he couldn’t talk. Or probably just karma for being a murderer. 

Kieran heard footsteps. They were too familiar, too nostalgic. It was her. Lauren. 

Why did he care so much? 

And the footsteps paused. She must’ve seen him. 

Kym practically threw herself at Lauren, grinning from ear to ear. He wished he could be the one hugging her. Making her smile. 

He bit his lip. Why. Did. He. Care. 

But it was in his bucket list to apologize to Lauren. Near the top, actually. If he got the courage to, he’d apologize tonight. Even if he didn’t do it tonight, he’d do it by the end of this week. 

It was his heart yearning to be near her again, to… live with her. 

It was a sick realization: he couldn’t live without her. 

Kieran shook his head. He would apologize today. There was no changing his mind anymore. 

\- 

It was about 10 PM when he mustered the courage. 

Pacing in front of her door, Kieran started to doubt himself all over again. No, he couldn’t waste more time. 

Lauren never really slept, anyway. Maybe he’d tell her to sleep afterwards. 

He knocked on the wooden door. _It would be too easy to set on fire_ , Kieran thought uneasily. 

Kieran already wrote everything down, paragraphs, to show Lauren. But he was the most hesitant to show her the last page. 

_If I could tell you, I’d say I’d love you._

Lauren opened the door, eye bags heavy. She still took his breath away, even at her worst. 

Too embarrassed to do anything else, he shoved his notepad in her hands and fidgeted with his feet and played with his fingers. 

Lauren, fully aware he was mute, started to read everything. Kieran let out a sigh of relief when he saw that her golden eyes softened. 

She finished it, looking up at him, mouth parted to say something- 

It happened too fast. 

A piercing pain through his back. 

Kieran fell to the floor, blood dripping from his chest, where the bullet punctured. 

He let out a silent cry in pain. He could barely see anything in front of him. 

Was Lauren screaming? _No, don’t be unhappy. Please. Don't be unhappy..._ he thought. 

His fingers curled around his wound. Too much pain, he couldn’t focus. 

“ _Uncle_!” Lauren cried, eyes shocked with betrayal. 

“He’s the Purple Hyacinth.” Tristan Sinclair said. “He probably came to kill you. I did it to protect you, Ren.” 

_Monster, monster, monster._

“No, Uncle, _you don’t understand_!” Lauren said, fists curling. 

Tristan looked at his niece. 

But Kieran lost focus. 

His vision went black. 

And he fell to his pool of blood, sleeping, but he never woke up.


End file.
